February 29, 2024
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Once I fly someplace and I get to the place I’m going, typically somebody will ask, “How was your flight?” And I simply say, “Ah, it was fantastic,” as a result of it normally is. However I used to be on a flight a pair weeks in the past, and I began pondering, “You realize, this complete expertise went fairly nicely, but once more. But it surely may have been even higher.” So I began making an inventory of some issues that in an ideal world, might need gone a tad extra easily throughout my multi-leg journey.

  • Airport auto-flush rest room flushed after I was nonetheless seated
  • Repeated failure to set off computerized faucet in restroom
  • Paper towel ripped into items after I pulled on it
  • Gate was removed from Jamba Juice
  • USB charger in seats at gate didn’t cost telephone shortly
  • Boarding protocol appeared to point that I’m not particular, or no less than solely the fifth most-special group of individuals boarding this flight
  • Digital boarding move wouldn’t scan straight away
  • Stated “Good, how are you?” in reply to flight attendant who stated, “Howdy”
  • Nobody in first-class provided to present me their seat in change for my non-first class seat
  • Nobody in first-class acknowledged my existence as a fellow traveler of the air with a lot as a easy wave, head nod, or smile and hearty handshake as I shuffled previous
  • Individual in seat subsequent to me didn’t appear to suppose my job sounded attention-grabbing
  • Consolation plus was not as snug as I’d fantasized
  • Somebody farted
  • Man manspreaded into my leg area bubble
  • Solely three of eight Mission Unattainable films out there on in-flight leisure
  • Aircraft wing blocked a part of view
  • Clouds exterior window not apparently formed
  • Pilots didn’t invite me to assist them fly aircraft and even hand around in cabin in any respect
  • Aircraft didn’t have pleasant, fluffy golden retriever patrolling the aisles
  • Loyalty to airline rewarded with “miles” as a substitute of a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on throughout onerous occasions, or precise friendship
  • Nobody complimented my new footwear
  • Eradicating bag from overhead bin required a number of makes an attempt spanning a number of seconds
  • Human flight achieved in 1903, but we nonetheless await the creation of inexpensive and extensively out there jetpacks
  • No well dressed driver ready with a placard bearing my identify in a tasteful font after I arrived at my vacation spot

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